Being Greatful

I have a friend from work who just had her baby 6 weeks ago, and they discovered that her little girl had complications. Today, her little one has gone through a major operation, and thankfully is doing extremely well for being put through something so hard.

I have heard about so many mothers recently that have gone through such hard times with their children because of ailment. It makes you appreciate the health that your child enjoys...

Life is fragile, and it is amazing every time I think about how blessed I am that my son is well...

New to Me

Well, around about May 4, 2007 my radiator blew up and my transmission cooked. I had gotten an oil change at one of those 10 minute places, and they checked my transmission fluid, and they did not put things back together properly. So, my truck would have costed $6000.00 to get fixed and I would have had to wait 3 weeks before I got it back, and I was in Calgary on a trip for work.

I was going to trade my 11 year old truck in after I was done paying for it, but to my dismay things happened. I made the decision to see if they had any used trucks that would be affordable for me to get instead. I thought if nothing else if I could not then I would rent one to get home.

I was fortunate to get a "new to me" vehicle (it is used). I have always felt that getting a used vehicle is to my advantage, because you will get it for half the price. So, that is what I did, and they refinanced what I had left on the old truck and helped me out. At the end of the day I was not dis-heartened but was glad that things worked out. My son and I were safe and things were not tragic and in the end I have a vehicle that is truly road worthy. My truck gave me some good safe years of driving, and it was unfortunate that I was not able to keep it for a couple more years. I liked that truck, but things do happen. My son misses the old truck more than I do though, he refers to it sometimes.

I had feedback from some wondering why I wasn't severely upset. I would have been truly upset if I had just bought the truck, but since it was 11 years old and seen its days and I had put so many miles on it I just felt I should let it go. If you have to put more money into the truck than its worth it is time to let go. Maybe that it a lesson for the rest of life too...LOL

Anyway, to my new sunroof, and CD Player, Tape machine and MP3 player in my truck...I don't see the need, but I guess it is standard in vehicles from this decade and someday I may even get around to using you, but for today, my son is the one who enjoys the sunroof even more than any of the adults who ride in the vehicle.

Kids and their toys...eh!

I know I have gotten a truly good deal when this truck gets to be 12 years old and I am still driving it wherever I need to be...!

Maybe I better wait to see how long my boyfriend keeps his vehicle, ...LOL

Anyway, enough analagies

Voices Passing Away

We had a staff meeting today, and someone told us of two First Nation Senators who passed away. The one was very vocal about First Nations youth working hard and making their own determination to make their way in this society. He was a very strong voice to inspire the youth to help them go forward and give themselves a positive future. The other Senator was a strong pillar in her First Nation and having her voice pass away will be something that the community she is from will miss very much.

I am going to a funeral tomorrow of my adopted sister's brother who was in his 40's. He was young, and had not finished cutting his positive pathway in life. It was a life cut abruptly short.

We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so today is all we are promised. Can we take care of what we are given? Can we be trusted to use the moments we have to leave a positive legacy behind that is so strong that it is felt when we are gone?

Nutritionist and Dietician

I had an appointment with a Nutritionist/Dietician, and found out that I am under-eating. It was something I don't know if I believe. Perhaps, it could be the case, but I suppose I am not the expert. I was informed that because of the way I under-eat it does not help my system.

I really don't have time to monitor the problem right now, so I am starting a program where the Nutitionist/Dietician will do that for me. Hopefully, this will help my health overall and help me to get back to my normal self again. I haven't been that for a few years now, and it is a priority for me to get back to who I am again.

It probably sounds trivial to some, but it is frustrating to me right now. I am hoping that it will also aleviate some stress that I feel because I will finally have positive help. I realize now that in order to succeed I need positive support that is genuinely there for my benefit, and without emotional punishment if I am having difficulty.

I know that I don't have to do it for anyone else but me...but right now I need to do this so that I am happy to be me again...

I don't really dwell on these things very much, because I am so driven and focussed on my son, work, and school right now. Yet, when school is done I want to be able to know that I have gotten somewhere with my health as well.

Disposable Society

I caught a bit of a show that my dad was watching today when I went home to get my son his dinner.

The show was on many things, but at the end of the day the basic question I had was "How much have we allowed society to become so disposable that there is no commitment to anything anymore?"

Society in its laws, and its emotional make-up and its support systems has become one that has built a foundation around the thought formula that "Don't let anyone feel badly for what they have done and don't let them feel remorse for the choices they make."

Each time I have read reports, and every time I hear about the way that courts make decisions, just supports these factors.

If we took one giant step back and evaluated what we have done and the decisions that we prefer, and evaluate it against what REALLY happens to children, youth, and to others I think we would suddenly question the celebration that everyone lives in where people live in a society where we "Don't let anyone feel badly for what they have done and don't let them feel TRUE remorse for the choices they make."

We become adults and suddenly what we lived through, becomes not so bad, because for some they pick up the baggage that parents left behind and passed on to the next generation who is us.

We at some point in our lives vowed that we would give something better to our children for their legacy, but at the end of the day as a society get caught up with, "Don't let anyone feel badly for what they have done and don't let them feel TRUE remore for the choices they make."

So, where does the cycle end? It ends with a choice knowing that it is ok to feel badly enough about bad choices and feel enough remorse to make a change that moves us this next generation away from the traps of the past and TRULY give our children a chance without abuse, addictions, and all of the negative things that caused us pain as children.

If society was not allowed to dispose of things so easily and had to face things instead, what would that look like?

What legacy would this create for those who count the most, our children who don't have a voice, because at the end of the day it is our children who have to truly endure our choices...

Personality Test

I took a test, and this was my evaluation, I think it was pretty close to who I feel I am:


Risk Averse (X), High Energy (A), Optimistic (O), Seeks Predictability (P)
The X in this profile is a very important factor and should usually, but not always, be a match. This person takes it slower in love, but is generally an intense kind of person. This means that even though this is a Type A kind of person, they are unlikely to be romantically impulsive. This person doesn't want a lot of dramatic dead-end love affairs rotating in and out of their life because of a head-over-heels number. This person wants serious relationships. Generally, this person knows what they like and is confident once they make up their mind, things have a very good chance of working out well. They want a person who has their approach to life in general, a relationship built around friends, favorite places and monogamy.

Flexible, Compromiser, Temperate, Extrovert
This person is the universal connector. They get along with just about everyone, except possibly a serious introvert, if they are an extreme extrovert. But, they will do well with almost anyone, except someone looking for a highly structured life with a dominating type who will direct the relationship. This person might enjoy someone who is a bit more intense and more dominant than them. They are flexible enough to meet the challenge! In any case, this person has the tools to be a great partner: They are not insecure in relationships, like to work with someone on creating a life together, don't get upset easily, seek intimacy and open up their heart to a partner. What's not to love? This person has to be careful to not let the occasional dominating kind of person mistake their good will for weakness.

It was an interesting test to say the least, some of the questions seemed a bit odd, but I guess every test has its querks.

Anyway, I don't know that I agree with all the assumptions, but much of it makes sense.

But that is what you get when you do tests that are prepared to be taken by so many...

Bell's Palsy

WHAT IS BELL'S PALSY?
Bells palsy is a condition that causes the facial muscles to weaken or become paralyzed. It's caused by trauma to the 7th cranial nerve, and is not permanent.

My dad was experiencing stroke like symptoms since Friday, and when he finally went to the doctor and told me what is happening the doctor told him that it might be a minor stroke or Bell's Palsy. The doctor said that he hoped it was Bell's Palsy as it is minor and the damage is recoverable for most of what is suffered.

It is a virus in the brain stem, and causes the symptoms stated above. The symptoms are more extensive than the description above, and it takes anywhere from weeks to 18 months to recover.

My son was very worried when my dad had to leave for a few days awhile ago, and the extent of how much that upset him flooded back to me when the doctor said his first priority was to rule out a stroke. My son could not take something this hard at this time, but we are extremely relieved that it is something recoverable and that it is not life threatening at this time.

I made sure that my son was not aware of what was going on, as I knew that it would scare him too much. My son doesn't like the doctor or the hospital anymore as it has taken too many people that he dearly loved from him. I am still working on him to help him understand that doctors and hospitals are not just a place where your loved ones just go away forever.

My son doesn't let me go too far anymore, and I still re-assure him that I am alright and I will always be there for him. It is such a big thing for him to have to work through, and at best I don't try to make him understand, it is more about allowing him to feel what he is going through and let him know it is alright.

He is a very strong little boy, and I just want him to have some relief from things that are not a child's to have to endure. It is the reason why I help him through things the way I do, I don't expect him to be forced to understand or carry adult problems, but allow him to feel what he needs to and know that I am here when he wants to get through the emotions he needs too.

He is still able to be a child that way, and I feel he is able to have a childhood that way too.

Pre-School Graduation

Well, I wasn't given very many details just a little note with a few sentences on it saying that my son would need to wear black pants, white shirt, and a black tie as he was to be paticipating in the Pre-School Graduation on June 3, 2007. So, as any good mother would I commenced the hunt to find a little black tie and a white shirt, because you just don't buy a white shirt for my son's age it just won't stay white. Anyway, so I commenced the hunt, and at first I wasn't certain I would find what I needed but alas I did. My son was sooooooo excited to pick out a couple of belts too and feel like a real little man. So in the excitement I bought him a couple of little suit jackets too, just becuase he was so enthralled with dressing up so...

It was alot of fun, I told my boyfriend about it, and I could hear how proud he was of my son too. It was a great moment.

The day was stressful for other reasons, but putting those things aside my son did so well and I am so proud of him. At two moments he could have chosen to cry, but instead he was my brave little man and listened so well and got through everything he was directed to do by his teachers.

It is moments like these that will be bitter sweet for the rest of our lives, perhaps one day the bitter part will be so little though that the sweet part will override the stressful parts.

We watched the video and the only thing that my son kept saying the whole time was "where are you in the movie mommy?" I thought he would have focussed on other things, and I kept assuring him that I was taking his picture, and right there too. I am not sure why he worries so...I am always there, perhaps it is his way of just making sure...

I thought about having someone take out picture together after it was all over but it had started to rain and I barely got a picture of my son holding his little Graduation Certificate for the year and getting him to smile for me too. Oh, well, there are other days, and we had a nice day after the rain stopped, we spent the day outside getting him to learn how to pedal his bike properly.

Freedom Writers

"Freedom Writers" is based on a true story, and I just finished watching it today on my day off. It was very well done and moving. It supported what I have known about people, sometimes you have to bring the truth to them in an unappologetic way and then once you get a place to start a commitment to change can happen.

It was a real story about how the world really changes, we make a choice, make the commitment and put as I put it "feet to our prayers."

It is not just words or prayers that change the world and move this generation it is also action.

It was truly a good movie.

Rent it, and Watch it.