Monday, April 16, 2007

Feeling Safe

I thought that once you get divorced the court documents provide you with some level of comfort or safety.

I have found that they do not, and that it is only a nice agreement on paper that must be strongly defended.

It was a sense of safety and some sort of resolution and peace that I hoped having things legalized would bring, but it has not. I want to feel safe, but I don't...I want to just have the right to get through school and have agreements honored but it is not happening...I want too much I guess...I want to feel safe and know that I will not lose my son, but I don't know if that is something I can trust anymore either...here is where I am at a total loss and the only thing I have is to trust God that He will help...it is a hard thing to completely let go when things like my son are closest to my very being and I don't know whether I can ever feel safe even after it has been legally supported...

I am a good mother, I love my son, and I just want the right to feel safe again...

2 comments:

SocietyVs said...

"It was a sense of safety and some sort of resolution and peace that I hoped having things legalized would bring, but it has not." (MyGarden)

I have the same problem with the legal system - for reasons altogether different than your situation (but that can also be included in the mix).

I can only hope that the 2 of you will come to some concensus on what is best for the future of your son (and for the 2 of you). I think safety kind of eludes people that are in a 'struggle' or they are so bombarded they just don't realize where safety can be found. I think trusting God is the best we can do in situations like that - not quite knowing the future but holding out to something bigger than us that does.

My Garden said...

This is the second time this week you have sent a comment, and for whatever reason it seems to come at the most oportune time...maybe you have "ESP" isn't that the term...anyway, thank you for hoping for the best...Nothing is really as cut and dry in life as they tell you, even when you are advised that if you do things ie. in a legal way that it brings resolve...I just want to rest now...but I guess that comes later still